Butterfly's Thoughts: Romance (Kanda, Lavi and Allen)
by Chris Emrys
Summary: A little visit in Lenalee's thoughts on the subject of romance (contains polyamory and queerplatonic Kanda&Lenalee). Written for Lenalove 2018!


Hello!

This was written a few weeks ago for Lenalove 2018, but I ended up busy with other things and forgot to post it here and on FFnet. There was three days with one theme each, which were Friendship, Family and Romance. I am posting Friendship and Family as one story, though the friendship's drabble is a stand alone and so is the family one. The same way, relations are friendship/platonic in Friendship, while in Family, they are obviously familial.

The Romance drabbles will have their own story each on FFnet (as I can only tag four characters so I wouldn't be able to tag all of them), while on AO3 it will be one story with a chapter for each romance's drabble (since I can tag all characters and relations). There are in total four drabbles, three with the ships I ship/love most for Lenalee, and the fourth is an implicit aromantic Lenalee.

Fun fact: I also ship Alma/Lenalee, but I did not find inspiration to write something. I can see them bonding by sharing a friendship with Kanda (which can also make an OT3).

I hope you appreciate!

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 **Butterfly's thoughts: Romance (Kanda, Lavi and Allen)**

Part of Lenalee had not believed she would have the heart to feel romantic affection, and yet she had been proven wrong. Three times.

The first had been Kanda, however, she could not tell if it really was romantic, and neither could Kanda. In fact, it had never truly occurred to them to wonder, up until Lavi entered the picture. While Kanda and Lenalee grew up together, they soon realized siblings did not apply to them, and yet their closeness did not feel romantic.

They had never truly spoken about it, but Lenalee could still recall all the times she sought safety in Kanda's dojo. She could still recall the first time Kanda held her in his arms, soothing her from a break down after she first saw a friend die.

She could see in her mind, how it became something they both sought, to simply lay together, or sit so close their side touched. The first time they kissed, it was chaste, Lenalee had seen something in Kanda's eyes that betrayed he was thinking hurtful thoughts, and she had placed a hand on his cheek, and a kiss on his lips.

It was another little habit they shared after this day, cheek kiss and forehead ones, chaste kisses when they needed reassurance someone cared.

When they met Lavi, and Lenalee started to feel fondness for the red haired, she had not been certain what to do. Should Kanda and her speak, define their relationship? Should she even act on the warmth that was forming when she was with Lavi?

However, for a while, nothing happened. Lavi slipped himself, expression softening, one hand on a shoulder in comfort, even one arm around her shoulders. Compliments would sometimes leave his lips, just soft enough to convey genuineness.

In the end, none of them had the courage to take a step forward, not when they all knew death could await them. Yet, an understanding formed between the three of them, and sometimes, when it felt really hard, Lenalee would find herself laying between Lavi and Kanda, feeling safe and protected with the casual closeness.

It was Allen that unpurposefully prompted her, and all of them, to fully communicate. Mutual fondness had formed between he and Lenalee, however as she realized how much she was growing to care, she also noticed that Allen seemed to backtrack whenever he showed something that was not simple friendship.

One day, Lenalee could not help it, and rather than let it slide when Allen walled himself after giving her such a soft smile and warm look, she touched his cheek with her hand, watching the wall fall back right away from the surprise.

 _I care about you, Allen;_ she had admitted in a soft voice.

Emotions had swirled in his eyes, and then hesitantly, a little lost, he told her, _Aren't I coming in between you and Lavi?_

The surprise had soon shifted to understanding, and then Lenalee had breathed out a laugh. _I think it's time I speak with him and Kanda, and with you._

The shocked look on Allen's face when his mind seemed to make sense of what she suggested had been lovely, Lenalee decided, especially mixed with the light hope in his silver eyes.

And then it had all fallen into places. Lavi and Kanda had not been blind, and they had long ago accepted they were both important to her. Allen had already fallen into their dynamics without realizing, but now, he knew he did not need to restrain his affection. Just like Lavi. Kanda did not change, they had always known it was not quite romance between them, but he was still her partner.

Still, Lenalee had hoped Komui had more or less guessed, he had always seemed to eye the three boys in a way that made her think he had realized.

They were proven wrong when they were laying down for a bit, all cuddled, and heard the shriek. Or maybe he had thought it was unsaid affection, not acted upon.

Somehow, Headquarters stayed standing after the Komurin of that day.


End file.
